Growing Older, Staying Connected: The LGBTQ+ Community of the French Riviera

 

I frequently receive emails and DMs from people asking whether there is an older LGBTQ+ community on the French Riviera. The short answer is: absolutely.

In fact, there is a much larger and more socially active older LGBTQ+ population here than many visitors might expect. What is less obvious is that you probably won’t find it neatly packaged online. And that can be a good thing.

Much of the LGBTQ+ content associated with the French Riviera (or anywhere) focuses on nightlife, younger travellers, Pride events, beach clubs and tourism. That can give the impression that once you reach a certain age, the Riviera’s LGBTQ+ social scene somehow disappears. It most certainly doesn’t.

A week or two ago, I went to one of the social gatherings that some local friends put together once a month. What struck me immediately was how many LGBTQ+ people were there of every age demographic and it was very social. They had come from different parts of the world and had very different stories. Some had lived on the Riviera most of their lives. Others had moved here within the past year or two after retiring. Some were working locally, while others were long-term expatriates, seasonal residents or people who had simply decided they wanted a change of scenery.

And that gathering was hardly an isolated example. The French Riviera has an enormous population of older LGBTQ+ people, including retirees, long-term residents, seasonal residents, business owners, and professionals. The difference is that much of their social life isn’t necessarily visible through the same online channels that younger visitors use to find LGBTQ+ activities. There is a whole social world happening beyond Instagram, dating apps and nightlife listings.

So What Happens When You Are Older In The Cote d’Azur?

It is a question I find particularly interesting because people sometimes seem to assume that LGBTQ+ life has an expiration date. What happens after the party years? Where do gay men, lesbians, bisexual people and other LGBTQ+ people socialize when nightclubs and bars are no longer the center of their lives?

The answer, at least from what I see around the Riviera, is that they simply keep living. Coffee meet-ups, lunches, private dinners, drinks with friends, beach days, hiking, swimming, cultural events, weekend trips, shopping excursions and parties all become part of the mix. And yes, for those who want it, there are still nightclubs, cruising venues and sex clubs. Getting older doesn’t suddenly mean you stop being interested in life, friendship, romance, sex, travel or having fun.

People simply find different ways of doing it.

One thing I have noticed repeatedly is that many of the older LGBTQ+ people I know here are exceptionally sociable. Some are local and some aren’t. Some speak French fluently and some don’t. Some have lived here for decades, while others arrived relatively recently. But there is often a willingness to welcome people into existing social circles that can make settling into life here considerably easier.

The Riviera Has A Different Relationship With Ageing

For me personally, this is one of the reasons I chose to make the French Riviera my permanent home more than a decade ago. I am still proudly Canadian, but after spending many years visiting this region before eventually moving here, I had become increasingly aware of something that bothered me about the environment I had left behind.

Too often, people seem to become increasingly focused on the past: the “good old days,” the parties that used to happen, the people who used to be around, the places that used to exist and the community that supposedly used to be better. Perhaps that happens everywhere, but I found myself wondering why so much energy had to be spent looking backwards.

The Riviera certainly has its own history. There are people here who can tell you stories about LGBTQ+ life in the region decades ago that you simply won’t find in a tourist guide. But what I noticed during all those years of visiting was that people here seemed much more interested in actually living in the present. The past is remembered, certainly, but it isn’t necessarily where life stops.

And I think that distinction becomes particularly important as we get older.

You Don’t Suddenly Disappear When You Turn 50, 60 or 70

I occasionally receive messages from people planning a trip to the Riviera who are worried that they might be “too old” for the LGBTQ+ nightlife scene. My answer is generally the same: come and see for yourself.

Of course, different venues attract different age groups. That’s normal. A particular nightclub, event or party might have a predominantly younger crowd. But I have yet to experience the kind of blanket age discrimination that some people fear when they ask me whether they will be welcome.

There is another reality that is sometimes overlooked. Older customers often have more disposable income, more freedom to travel and more time to spend locally. They stay in hotels, rent villas, dine in restaurants, visit bars, attend events and return year after year. They are an important part of the hospitality and tourism economy in the Cote d’Azur.

Many of the people who operate LGBTQ+ establishments and businesses on the Riviera today have been part of the community for decades. Some were involved when the region’s LGBTQ+ scene was much smaller and less visible than it is today. They have watched the community evolve. They’ve seen venues open and close, generations come and go, attitudes change and new forms of LGBTQ+ social life emerge. And some of them have some pretty extraordinary stories.

Retirement Doesn’t Have To Mean Slowing Down

One of the things I particularly enjoy seeing is what people actually do with retirement here. For many, retirement doesn’t mean sitting at home waiting for the next doctor’s appointment. It means suddenly having time: time for friends, time for travel, time for exploring and time for that long lunch you never had time for when you were working. Along with time to learn proper French.

Someone might spend a weekend in another part of the Côte d’Azur. Another person might organise a group trip somewhere else in France. Others might take the train into Italy for lunch, shopping or simply wandering around another town.

Our location makes this incredibly easy. The Riviera sits beside Italy, and the Nice Côte d’Azur Airport provides quick connections to destinations across Europe. For people who have spent much of their working lives dreaming about travelling, retirement here can open up an entirely different chapter.

And because so many people are doing exactly the same thing, there are always opportunities to find someone who wants to come along.

There Is Also Something To Be Said For Intergenerational Community

One of the things I think gets lost in discussions about LGBTQ+ life is the assumption that different generations exist in completely separate worlds. They don’t have to.

The older generation brings decades of experience. Younger people bring different experiences of identity, relationships, technology, activism and community. Put the two together and there can be an enormous amount to learn from each other. You see mentorship in action here.

The Riviera has people who remember what LGBTQ+ life was like here long before social media existed, alongside people who have arrived recently and are experiencing the region for the first time. That creates an interesting mixture.

Someone who has lived here for 30 or 40 years can tell a newcomer where the community used to gather, who was around and how much has changed. Meanwhile, a newcomer might introduce that same person to a restaurant, event, social group or online community they had never encountered.

That exchange keeps a community alive.

Loneliness Can Happen Anywhere — But Isolation Isn’t Inevitable

I read a great deal about the loneliness epidemic in other countries. And yes, people can absolutely become lonely on the French Riviera.

Moving to another country doesn’t magically eliminate loneliness. In fact, moving somewhere new can initially make it worse. You may not know anyone, you may not speak the language confidently, and you may have left family and friends behind.

But loneliness and being alone are not necessarily the same thing.

One of the biggest mistakes newcomers can make is waiting for the community to come to them. It probably won’t. You have to participate. Go for the coffee. Accept the invitation. Join the group. Go to the event. Talk to the person sitting next to you. Get off the dating app and occasionally have an actual conversation with someone. Take the train somewhere with people you’ve just met. Say yes to something you wouldn’t normally do. You’ll be surprised how much it will open up your world.

That is how communities develop.

Sometimes All It Takes Is One Conversation

I was reminded of this again recently when I met a stream of people from around the world who were in the region for the Monaco Yacht Show. More than half told me some version of the same story. They had overheard a conversation in a restaurant, someone had started talking to them, and suddenly they were having a conversation with complete strangers who then became friends along with business connections.

That is one of the things I enjoy about this part of the world. The Riviera is full of people who are both new and established. You might be sitting beside someone who has lived here for 40 years or someone who arrived three weeks ago. You might meet someone from London, Montreal, New York, Paris, Milan, Amsterdam, Brussels or somewhere you have never even considered visiting.

And sometimes those casual conversations turn into friendships. That is particularly valuable for older people who may be arriving here alone or as a couple and are wondering whether they will find their place.

You Don’t Have To Party To Have A Social Life

There is also no requirement to make nightlife the center of your existence. Maybe your idea of a perfect Saturday is dancing until four in the morning. Maybe it is dinner with six friends followed by a bottle of wine. Maybe it is swimming in the morning, lunch in a small village and an afternoon train ride along the coast.

Maybe it is hiking, going to an art exhibition, sitting in a café for two hours talking about absolutely nothing important, or having a private dinner at someone’s home. Or maybe, occasionally, you really do want to go out and have a ridiculous night. All of those things can coexist.

That, for me, is one of the great advantages of life here. You have options.

The Riviera Keeps Giving You Reasons To Get Out

I certainly don’t have a problem with boredom here. I work a lot and always seem to have another project underway, but there is still an enormous amount to see and do around me. Sometimes, in fact, the problem is the opposite. I occasionally have to deliberately disappear for a few hours just to get some quiet time.

A swim somewhere along the coast helps. So does a hike. Or simply getting on a train and going somewhere without much of a plan.

One of the lessons I’ve learned from living here is that you don’t have to be surrounded by people every minute to have a rich social life. Being comfortable with yourself matters too. Sometimes you need the crowd, sometimes you need the company of one good friend, and sometimes you need absolutely nobody. It also doesn’t feel like some type of competition here based on ego or things as one might assume there would be in the Riviera. People want to get to know you.

There Is No Age Limit On Discovering Something New

Perhaps that is ultimately what I find most interesting about the older LGBTQ+ community on the French Riviera. People are still discovering things. They are moving here, starting businesses, retiring, making new friends, dating, travelling, learning, exploring, trying restaurants they have never visited, taking trips they never imagined taking and occasionally doing things that they probably would never have considered doing ten or twenty years earlier.

Getting older doesn’t mean the end of discovery. If anything, having more time, greater financial freedom and a better understanding of yourself can make discovery even more enjoyable. There is also a whole lot to do here that is accessible on any budget.

There are people who have moved to the Riviera specifically because they wanted a slower pace of life. And that’s perfectly fine. But slower doesn’t have to mean smaller.

You can have a slower life and still have an extraordinarily full one. You can retire without retreating. You can grow older without becoming invisible. And you can arrive here at 50, 60, 70 or beyond and still build an entirely new social life.

The Older LGBTQ+ Riviera Is There. You Just Have To Look Beyond The Obvious.

Perhaps the biggest misconception is that LGBTQ+ life on the French Riviera revolves around young tourists and nightlife. It doesn’t.

There is a much deeper community underneath all of that — people who have lived here for decades, people who arrived last year, people who come for part of the year and people who are still figuring out whether this is where they want to spend the next chapter of their lives.

Some are still dancing, some are travelling, some are working, some are retired, some are dating, some are happily partnered and some are perfectly happy being single. Some are going to the same café every Tuesday morning, while others are probably still having considerably more fun than the people half their age.

The important thing is that they are living. The bonus with this group of people is that if you are in need of anything, the community rallies around to help where they can. I’ve seen it in action.

And perhaps that is one of the greatest things about growing older on the French Riviera: you don’t have to spend your later years looking backwards at the life you once had.

There is still plenty of life happening right in front of you.